Have you ever been blindsided by a setback, feeling like the ground beneath you suddenly vanished? I certainly have. It was during my MSC oral exam in organisational development. Everyone, from my supervisor to my loved ones, believed I was prepared. Yet, after the first attempt, I found myself deferred. It was a crushing blow. Doubt crept in, clouding my professional confidence and credibility. How could such a setback possibly be constructive?

As I grappled with this question, I revisited my belief that negative experiences always harbour a lesson. But this time, I struggled to see it. From my perspective, the examiners seemed unhelpful and unsupportive. It wasn’t about my competence; it was their demeanour. How could this ordeal possibly offer a silver lining?

Unexpectedly, a revelation struck me. It transported me back to my school days, where I often felt overlooked and misunderstood. Was I inadvertently inviting a familiar experience? Did lingering insecurities about my academic prowess still haunt me?

Childhood patterns, I realised, can shape our adult strategies and perceptions. It was as if I was reliving those moments of being misunderstood in the classroom. Back then, I learned to rely on my bubbly persona to compensate. But adulthood demanded more. I had to shed the facade and reveal my authentic self, vulnerabilities and all.

The journey didn’t end with the exam. Negative feedback flooded in from unexpected quarters, challenging my sense of self. But amidst the pain, I found a mirror reflecting areas ripe for growth.

Fast forward six months, and I’m grateful for that initial setback. It forced me to hone my competence, embrace vulnerability, and show up authentically. Passing the first time would have deprived me of these invaluable insights.

A conversation with my mentor proved illuminating. “Why are you doing this, Anjana?” she asked. “For the love of service to others.” In that moment, ego yielded to purpose, and the pressure to perform lifted. I was free to embrace my imperfections and learn from others without defensiveness.

So why share this journey?

Because if you’re facing a perplexing setback—a missed promotion, workplace challenges, strained relationships—there may be a hidden gift awaiting discovery.

Embrace the discomfort, for within it lies the seed of lifelong learning!